Open up

I genuinely wish people were more open about mental illnesses. No matter how much awareness is raised for people who are actually suffering, the fact is everyone is at a vulnerability, anyone can fall ill without a warning and those are the people I worry for the most. They're clueless as to what they're actually going through, unaware of help and support available to them. We as a country with free health care should be educating children about mental illnesses, showing them how to recognise signs not just for their own sakes but for their friends and family too. Just having someone who understands, or at least understands to how to react (yes, everyone is different in every separate case but the fact remains that when the dust settles, there is one person stood alone in a barren wasteland not knowing which way to turn) to someone who is desperately crying for help in most cases, a simple arm around a shoulder can do wonders on a road to recovery. Even someone who has recovered needs just as much support to make sure that any relapse however minor is dealt with in the best possible way as to avoid any huge deal made, just having someone to talk to can make the world of difference.

I have found personally that any relationship, whether family or love, is impossible in a situation where one is not accepting, be it the sufferer or anyone who cares about said, of the condition that they've found themselves in. You need to be able to rely on one another for support, because as difficult as it is for one, it's as difficult for the other. Even the person without an illness suffers, they need just as much support, it can actually help the person who is suffering to know they're being relied on just as much to hold someone else together, it brings about an element of realisation. This can't really happen if the gears of the relationship aren't turning as one, but it's often to realise such things as depression and anxiety can cloud judgement to the point of delusion.

I believe in emotional karma, being happy myself will make those around me happy too, one good mood deserves another. It works both ways though, being sad will bring other people down, that's why the effort of others also triggers emotional karma. If one person smiles for half an hour in public, at least one other person will smile, thereby triggering a waterfall effect, only becoming stronger with time.

If one person smiles, everyone can smile with them.


Love lasts forever, as long as one half lives,
But love cannot exist, if only one half gives,
Taking your whole life is easy when there's nobody to repay,
You'll realise one day.

Nobody goes through life without giving love,
Feel sorry for those who think they are above,
One day they'll be taken in, unable to breathe or say,
As the winds of love take their breath away.

It'll be hard for them to realise give them a helping hand,
That could have been you without emotion, bland,
Some people will refuse to let you help them find their way,
They'll fall in love too, one of these days,
A love so true, it will stop their thoughtless ways.

So pray for the thoughtless, the mindless and the fake,
When somebody decides to take the time,
To love them more than they love themselves, they'll finally be awake.

How are you?

Humans are the most friendliest of creatures on Azeroth, such a shame it has little true reflection to Earth. Whenever I'm handing in quests they're all "Hey, how are you?", I'm all like, yeah exactly the same as you asked 5 minutes ago when I clicked on you accepting the quest in the first place, only I've now murdered several animals for their skins, or teeth, or paws or something and stolen some candles from miners. When I say miners, I mean they're not real miners are they, they're more like a rabbit crossed with a crocodile that are very over protective of their candles. Who can blame them when people are running around killing them stealing their candles though, although it's clear to see what part of them is rabbit... I wonder if they have yankee candles, that could be a murder-free quest, go to the shop and buy some yankee candles.

</Unrelated News> I had a wonderful pizza the other night </end Unrelated News>

There are far more murders in Elwynn than Westfall. Since CSI Westfall has been aired for some years now, they should really think about broadening their horizons and make a CSI Elwynn to find and arrest the Horde members that keep killing the "How are you?" brigade in Eastvale Logging Camp.

Speaking of which, how are you?
The last few days have been rather difficult for me, with dejavu being at an all time high, like seeds - poisonous seeds that grow into giant fire-breathing plants that burn off all the hair I'm so desperately trying to keep a hold of, quite literally when I'm almost pulling it out in frustration. I can't really begin to explain how great it is to have someone to talk to, almost care-free. I know what happens is frustrating to both of us, as much myself as it's something that's uncontrollable as far as switching on and off. Annoying as it may be for two halves, there's a clear understanding, it's a part of me that for the mean time isn't going to change in a hurry, and something that will be endured ("put up with") which I'm glad to say lifted my mood enormously.

Has a poem.

Hello? Knock knock, you'll have to come out some time,
Oh hey, I hope I'm not crossing the line,
You don't need me dictating your life,
Through the looking glass, it's rife,
With trouble, you stumble, so come and take my hand,
We'll walk the line together if you're looking for a friend,
I'll help you through the bad times, cheer you through the good,
The only reason behind selflessness is knowing the other would,
Assist anyone that cried for help, screamed,
It's like an opportunity for your soul to be redeemed,
For you to forgive your own sins, cleanse, renew,
But here look at you,
Why am I thinking of my own peace of mind,
When you're sat there crying just trying to rewind,
Enveloped in your sadness, cocooned in fear,
Yet, I'm here, anticipating every tear,
Catching them with happiness turning them to joy,
Bonding, stronger than an alloy,
Feelings bring people together but only if they're shown,
They're like a watering can, making love grow,
So get out in your garden and sew those seeds,
Every person in the world has emotional needs.

Restart now - Later

GeneCraft.

A bold undertaking that was sharing my gaming story with the world. Something I want to renew, in my own special way. I will tell the story of a new character, a young Warlock, their quest for greatness, acceptance and passion for success. Their journey has just began in the valley of Northshire.

We will follow their journey with great interest.

For now though, enjoy the musings of a poem :)

My memories can rot in hell,
All that matters is here and now,
Happy days, massive smiles,
Going on for miles and miles.

I think about how I coped,
Without you keeping me afloat,
The dark days are over gone,
I'm keeping calm and carrying on.

Happiness, it comes and goes,
Coming more as our love grows,
Climbing over massive fences,
Obstacles and yet hence this,
Train refuses to stop,
No time for cakes, tea or pop.
We disembark at every station,
Have an exciting conversation,
Dance the night and day away,
Hop back on to the train.

Who knows where we'll end up next,
Ins seriousness of all context,
All that matters is me and you,
So fire up those engines, choo-choo, choo-choo.

I was particularly proud of this one, I often struggle with personification. It seems easy at first thought but to carry something through so long felt like an achievement.
I'm excited to start diversifying my writing, I hope you are too.

Lack of Inspiration

I have this thing going on now. It's a good job I have a wealth of material to fall back on. I prefer not to refer to it as writer's block, more a lack of inspiration. When I wasn't so busy at work, I had a plethora of thoughts to dwell upon and write about, now I'm busier than a bee in a garden centre, it's a lot harder to have inspiration come and go as it pleases. That's not for a lack of trying, Tuesday's poem was wrote on Tuesday itself but instead of flowing it took 4-5 hours of stopping and starting to complete. It'll click eventually and start flowing again.

Ever laughed in the face of adversity,
Ever crafted your own personality,
Ever cried so hard you broke down,
Ever smiled so large, everyone frowned.

You shouldn't care if you're not accepted,
Being you shouldn't bring about a death wish,
Being different means being you,
Individuality means that too,
If you live your life trying to be other people,
You're just another blemish to them, another freckle,
They'll dislike you for being so much like them,
Appreciative for the compliment, at first, but never again.

If you need to discover yourself by being someone else,
Fair enough, no stress,
But once you get there don't turn back,
Being you means being free, confidence you'll never lack,
You'll get called weird, you'll get called mad,
But at least you're you, one day you'll be glad.

#3

It's not possible to love a happy lie,
A lie cannot be happy, you'll see it through your eyes,
The truth doesn't hurt, it doesn't leave scars,
Honesty is harmless, it truly goes far,
Look at my wounds from being deceived,
Healing now, for what I am relieved,
Still cutting deep every now and then,
Almost as if I bleed through this pen,
I was caught up in a terrible mess,
A relationship that brought nothing but stress,
Living every day forcing a smile,
When all the while,
Lies were flowing through your veins,
No, they weren't growing pains,
Two years in and nothing changed,
You were right to break up with me that day,
I was wrong to react that way,
Selfishness - jealousy,
Suffering - you and me,
Explain your actions and I will mine,
You preyed upon my state of mind,
Left me begging for you back,
Guess what changed, that panic attack,
I was scared of losing you as much as myself,
I went to seek professional help,
They let me see we had something worth saving,
But all I was, interested in razing,
All we had to the ground,
Burning bridges, losing the found
Knowledge I had obtained,
We thought our futures were engraved,
On eachother's hearts and souls,
It burnt out, like old coals,
Now look at me a different person,
There really was nothing worse than
You, but you're gone now and everything has changed,
I broke free from the bars of that cage,
I've found solace in my new life,
I slid into it like a hot knife,
Now I'm spreading happiness, preaching the word,
There's people out there who've never heard,
Words of encouragement, wisdom and such,
Never thought I'd be loved as much,
For who I am,
Live your life your way not a sham,
You can try to pretend it's all okay,
However, always, you'll find a way,
To get back to being happy, being you,
Those happy lies are never true.

In the beginning

Yesterday I posted the last poem I ever wrote specifically wrote for the purposes of starting this blog. It seems only right to follow that up by the first poem I ever wrote. I'd like to talk a bit first about my inspirations. The biggest inspiration I have ever had is how candidly Michael Angelakos of Passion Pit wrote about his feelings and life through the medium of song. In terms of emotional listening the band as a whole have provided me with so many platforms to a happy day, or a good nights sleep. It seems almost impossible now to go through a day without the reassurance of knowing I can turn to them whenever I need to.

How is it even possible to call someone sad?
At some point, everyone gets mad,
Why do people get at others for being angry?
Are they in touch with their own sanity?

It's okay to not be okay,
It's okay it works four ways.

One, find someone who makes you happy,
Who appreciates you for you,
Then move on to two.

Two, be happy about who you are,
Only you, not me, then move on to three.

Three, appreciate your family,
Nobody gets there alone,
Carry on to four.

Four, you'll understand when you get there,
Words hardly express feelings anyway,
Only ever care about what's inside,
Discover yourself, have some pride.

Me, I beat depression,
These words, these poems, they're my confession,
Three easy steps to live a happy life,
The fourth is pulling through all the strife,
Unhappiness at arms length, sadness' horizon,
Keep it all outside, don't let it in.

Keep in mind this one final thought,
A barrier of happiness that's how it's fought,
You're not alone in anything you think,
Some to turn harm, others to drink,
One day it will hit you, you'll know you're there,
So come out of your shell, your loved ones already care.

I write poetry when I'm bored at work

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Day 54 in my new job, and 3 weeks in I was suffering from severe boredom. Something amazing began to happen, I put a pen to paper and wrote about my thoughts and feelings. Somehow, in some divine stroke of luck, everything fit together, everything clicked into place. This is the last poem I wrote, this is my commitment to write poems regularly to educate people about mental illnesses, to try and unite people to stand together in the face of adversity, and maybe you'll learn one or two things about yourself too.

Did you hear the story of the boy who cried wolf?
Maybe he was paranoid, that would be enough,
Worries can be powerful if used in the right way,
Others can use them for their personal gain,
Preying on someone's mind is not advisable,
These are things meant to be invisible,
If they share such things with you, they trust you with their heart,
Extending themselves to you, of them now you are a part,
Nobody can cope with out a helping hand, so then,
Luckily for myself in that hand is a pen,
I put my thoughts on paper for you all to read,
Hope you find solace in them, perhaps follow in my lead,
But for all my writing helps how I think,
I have my family and friends too, that's the missing link,
There's someone out there who cares for you too,
Give them your thoughts, let them walk in your shoes,
I found my soulmate sharing my worries,
Talking about them honestly ferries,
Anxiety away, depression gone,
We'll get there together no-one is alone.