Capable

Some people's life dream is to meet some random celebrity or to visit some hot island in the southern hemisphere. Mine is to meet someone who's music makes me cry. There's something about Passion Pit's music that hits me right in the back of my throat, particularly if I'm having an off day. I've cried outside and inside the four walls that I would call a home, all to reach some form of "capable" state.

It's amazing how often I use that word in my own mind, nothing is ever capable until the situation has truly passed.I find it somewhat ridiculous, certain situations popping up that are quite unbearable in their intensity and yet the actual concept of the whole idea is laughable. De-realisation, nothing is true, it may seem like something from Assassin's Creed but for someone who suffers from anxiety, the unsaid rule of every paranoiac thought, every irrational worry. It doesn't matter how ridiculous, how outlandish, as if the odds are stacked in the "defences" favour, there will be a time where the worry train comes off the tracks. So find someone who will live with that, you find someone who finds it themselves "capable" and who is actually willing to help the situation. You'd guess the difference that makes and go figure how happy you'll become, if politeness costs nothing, ignorance can cost a sanity.


Effort, if you could just learn to control,
What you are putting in, will drive you in to a hole,
Who's arms will be there to pull you out,
Mine for all, I've been thinking about,
All you've done for me and the position we are in,
Is there a day goes by that I'm without a grin?
Since the day we walked hand in hand, your face has been alight,
And after finding out why I can't sleep at night,
All you've wanted to do was help, and you still wear that smile,
Some day, you'll be repaid, while,
My thoughts don't exceed the expression of feelings,
I'm a dreamer, I deal in reelings,
The biggest compliment I can pay to you,
You're better than my imagination, that's the full truth.